2017 Kia Cadenza vs. The Competition
The 2017 Kia Cadenza is set for what will likely be a late-year 2016 / early 2017 release, and we’re excited as heck for its appearance on our lot. This refreshed sedan will have improved fuel economy, two fashionable front grille choices, and 3D components on the inside, among other cool features and upgrades.
But before you can enjoy the large sedan with 290 HP and 28 mpg highway, we want you to see just how it holds up to scrutiny when it has to compete with all people, places and things that also end with “-Za.” To that end, we have entered the 2017 Cadenza in a tournament-style competition with the likes of Tony Danza, pizza, and even the dreaded influenza. Read on to see who or what wins the second annual “Battle of the –Zas”!
Round One: Winners Move on to Round Two
There are six participants total in this contest, up from five last year. And before we begin, we would like to note we were prepared to write about a first-round “Stanza vs. Bonanza” matchup, but stanza, a favorite of poets everywhere, and “Bonanza,” the fabled TV show, both failed to register for the competition before the deadline. We hope to see them in 2017.
So without further ado, it’s time to get your “-Za” on!
Credenza vs. Influenza
A credenza, aka a decorative end table cupboard, squares off with an infection.
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Credenza was hoping to make the top four “-Zas”, but it’s an uphill battle. And influenza is not a particularly beloved “-Za.” Unfortunately, the more dangerous “-Za” won this matchup.
Costanza vs. Danza
The fictional character from 1990s TV show “Seinfeld” takes on an American treasure, Tony Danza.
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George Costanza wins, because he’s shameless and he hasn’t been involved in the “Tiny Danza” debacle; though if Costanza were the one being gently mocked on the web in this way, he would rise above it with his unbeatable combination of energy and cynicism.
Round Two: Winners Move to Championship Round
Pizza got a first-round bye, due to its second-place finish in the inaugural “Battle of the –Zas” last year.
Costanza vs. Pizza
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Thanks to his excessive hunger and bizarre neuroses, George pulls off the upset!
2017 Kia Cadenza vs. Influenza
The Kia Cadenza got a first-round bye, thanks to its championship in the inaugural –Za showdown last year.
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The 2017 Cadenza wins this one going away, as it provides the more likeable and fashionable option, thanks to front grille options “Diamond Butterfly” and “Intaglio,” among other stylish accents.
Cadenza vs. Costanza
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The Winner: Battle of the -Zas
For the second year in a row, the Kia Cadenza wins the “Battle of the –Zas”! Not a surprise, since the 2017 Cadenza is a powerful redesign with nice fuel economy and next-level elegance in its design. Plus, when it comes down to it, you can have a Kia Cadenza in your driveway, but you can’t own a fictional character like George Costanza.
We Love Danza and Costanza, But We Have the Best-Driving “-Za” at Friendly Kia!
Whew! That was quite an epic showdown to see which “-Za” could withstand our scrutiny, and we carry the Kia Cadenza at Friendly Kia. At our dealership we offer at least a $4,500 discount off MSRP on all available models on our lot, and we’re located at 5819 US Highway 19 in New Port Richey, Florida, also serving the greater Tampa, Clearwater and St. Petersburg area, as well as Trinity, Tarpon Springs and Spring Hill.
If you plan on purchasing a new or used car, please take advantage of our trade-in policy and our exclusive partnership with Kelley Blue Book KBB.com’s Trade-In Marketplace/Buying Center.